Nigeria Police “Farce” and Armed Guards at CAC.

My musing over the imposition of dress code by CAC on her customers was ruptured by a news item that the Nigeria Police in conjunction with one GSM service provider is organizing a marathon. This marathon is to create police awareness in Nigeria. My mind did a somersault and I ask myself, whether the Police I meet at the toll gates, collecting N20 isn’t enough awareness? On further investigation, it became apparent that the Nigeria Police have lost initiatives on how to extort money from Nigerians, hence this charade announced by AIG in charge of Zone 2 of the Nigeria Police Force. Before We get back to the Police, why are customers of CAC allowing this draconian directive to go unchallenged? CAC can lay down dress code for her staff and not her customers. After all, we are bringing money for them and most of my clients are labourers, whom Nigeria has refused to uplift their suffering. More also CAC does not release jobs as at when do so that I can get paid and have change to buy any of these cheap mass produced Chinese easy to fade “coats” being sold from the booth of lawyer’s tokunbo cars.

In deed the Nigeria Police has achieved a lot in terms of sport in Nigeria. Nigeria’s first Olympic gold was gotten by a Police woman- Chioma Ajunwa. Sunday Bada, is also another Policeman who have hoisted the battered police image on the international medal table. You may add Julius Agahuwa to the list of great sportsmen bequeathed to Nigeria by the Police. The rank and file of policemen in the combat sports are legion. So why this waste of money and time in the name of marathon?

Nigerians are in an unalloyed agreement that the Nigeria Police needs exercise badly. There are a lot of pepper soup belled policemen around. This battered image of the Nigeria Police is what Nigerians want done something about.  Most policemen don’t have or wear service boot, rather a good number of them wear bathroom slippers on duty. Check out the one posted to CAC in Zone 5 Wuse Abuja. Apart from this dirty appearance of the Nigeria Police, another area that needs facelift is their barracks. From Shell Camp station in Owerri through Police Training College Ikeja Lagos to Force Head Quarters Area 10 Abuja, the Police formation, is the dirtiest among the security outfits in Nigeria. Nigerians want something done about this.

Another interesting area Nigerians want to see an improved image of the Police, is in their carrying of arms. The careless abandon, with which Nigeria Police brandish AK 47, gives one the feeling of state of war. Even Police officers guarding Mr. Biggs, NNPC mega filling station at Central Area Abuja carry an AK47. Each time I come to CAC, I wonder why should Policemen guarding CAC carry gun and why AK47 at that? AK47, is an assault rifle, with a deadly accuracy. Who wants to rob CAC? The crime committed at CAC is economic fraud and document swapping. Nigeria Police should know that there is a difference in the psychology of a blue collar thief and a highway robber. But carrying AK47 carelessly or in an area where a common Beretta pistol or Colt .23 can demobilize a suspected thief. This careless carrying of assault rifle is a major contributory factor to the death rate at accidental discharge report by the Nigeria Police. In UK and other civilized clime, the Police carry only whistle and baton, leaving assault and sub machine guns for a specially trained unit. In USA you have SWAT while the other team of Policemen carry arms that will demobilize and not kill a suspect, especially where such suspect is not armed with multi-purpose rifle.

 But in Nigeria, a korovo who is frustrated with low pay, harassment from children (Policemen in Nigeria breed like rabbit), is armed with instrument of death. Just the other day, the life of a young promising Nigeria was snuffed off in Minna by the Police, who shot indiscriminately into a residential area. Honestly, I fear a similar thing may occur in CAC, if these policemen are not disarmed. There is no document in CAC worth protecting with an AK47 In the heat of TRANSCORP, the file was safely kept away from the public so the public will not know the share structure and Obasanjo’s worth in the fraudulently acquired company. These Policemen should be disarmed before they kill a lawyer and file it as accidental discharge.  

IG Okiro should be told that the Marathon started when Phedippides ran from Marathon to Sparta (140 miles) to request for assistance in Athenian’s war against the Persians. Nigerians want to see, the Police running to the rescue of Nigerians attacked by armed robbers and not running away from the cries of Nigeria or claiming that there is no fuel or ammunition to engage the armed robbers. Nigerians want to see the police running after and catching a fleeing thief without firing a shot in a crowded settlement and not this senseless marathon.

Nigerians want to see a marathon trial of Police officers caught extorting money from motorists, especially those at Tipper bus stop on Kubwa-Wuse Asokoro Express road. Nigerians want to see a marathon of arrest and trial of Ehindaro, former IG of Police, who has been roundedly fingered in corrupt practices, especially questionable buying of properties re-looted from Tafa Balogun. Nigerians want a marathon trial of officers for inordinate and excessive use of fire arms. Nigerians want to see a marathon of arrest of DPOs, who have turned Police stations into bail payment bazaar. Nigerians want a marathon of trial of the Minna State Police Command over the police murder of a 12 year old Nigerian. If we see these, then like Eucles, we will run to the high heavens to announce the improved image of Nigeria Police. If the police is desirous of improving their sports achievement, the 19^th Mobil Track and Field Championship to select Nigerian athletes for the Beijing Olympics have started today at the National Stadium in Abuja.

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Why CAC Will Never Work 2.

 By Che Oyinatumba

Nigeria is a conglomeration of fraud and an interesting place to live. I shall refer you to the defence of ex-president Obasanjo as reported in THISDAYNEWSPAPER of Monday 12th May 2008 at pages 10 & 12. All those calling for OBJ’s head should read this. OBJ rekindled my faith in him as an elder statesman. If fact his response showed that it was not the responsibility of the president to verify the legal status of a company. So those shouting that OBJ awarded contract to  ghost companies and some with share capital as miserable as 200 Naira, should ask CAC and lawyers involved in conducting the search before these companies were allowed by the bank(s) to open a current account. This light shone on CAC (regulatory body for registration of companies), brings me back to the situation at CAC.

 I need not to remind regular daily contributors to CAC that things are not working. I have elected to do siddon look but the lie I read in today May 15th LEADERSHIP NEWSPAPER at page 30 titled FG,H/Com’ttee Commend CAC, gave me goose pimple. I wonder if this reporter knows where CAC is. But further reading showed that the FG/House Committee on Commerce were commending CAC for prompt remittance of operating surplus. Interesting. With dead computer and dilapidated photocopiers, why shouldn’t CAC remit surplus? I challenge the Leadership reporter to come to CAC, investigate and do a balanced report. The world needs to know that the claim by CAC as advertised on a mast inside the Head Office is a fraud. I have never gotten availability in less than a week. I can state this on oath and produce evidence of GTB tellers. For customers of CAC, this is another reason why CAC is not working. Instead of having the interest of customers at heart, the management is concerned with keeping their job by providing holiday spending money for the government. I have in my possession a letter written to CAC by the Finance ministry dated 20th February 2007 and received by CAC on the 26th of February 2007 with Reference number BO/REV/12235/S.259/Vol1/107 where among other paragraphs, it reads ¦that projected operating surplus of N250 million for 2007 has been stepped up to N350 million as a result of the independent revenue target of N86 Billion approved by the National Assembly. To make sure that revenue are made available for the execution of government projects. As lawyers will say, I put CAC to the strictest proof to deny this letter. For customers of CAC who has been wondering why names are carelessly denied, this is one of the reasons. Your 200 Naira counts and if you check the number of times you will generate a name before approval, you will appreciate why CAC can never work.

 The only mega government activity in 2007 was the PDP arm wrestling that hoisted a candidate that did not campaign on us. Well over a year, this candidate has done nothing but to constantly go to Germany to cure cold!

I am not deceived that things will improve at CAC with this crop of leadership who receives award from students. How low can things degenerate to in this country? National Association Of Nigerian Students (NANS) that ought to be checking the excesses of those in government, have constituted themselves into a questionable award giving agency. I want to know which of the cutlass brandishing fraction of NANS paid CAC a visit. My anger is against the lawyers. Its when the cat is away that mouse will play all sorts of makosa in your bedroom.

These NANS boys saw that you guys are sleeping and have not put your penis together to piss out a foam and challenge the tales of CAC is working that is being parroted by RG and his paid agents. Let all lawyers arise and show the world the rot in CAC. Line of action, write to Senate Committee on Commerce complaining of the situation at CAC. On my own part, I will submit a letter to the National Assembly on Monday.  

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Why CAC Will Never Work 1

By Che Oyinatumba

CAC is Corporate Affairs Commission responsible for registration and regulation of companies in Nigeria.

I wish you can peep into my mind and see how frustrated I am. Graphically, I feel like a castrated bull in the harem of ewes on heat. I missed a life opportunity to speak with the Senate Committee on Commerce, who visited CAC today 14^th May 2008.

What further made me feel impotent was the sheepish attitude of lawyers when they saw these august visitors. Instead of constructively engaging them, they allowed themselves to be cowed by CAC staff, who hoo and shoo them into line. I bumped in at the tail of their visit and an attempt to confront NTA staff that came to show case CAC lies to the world, was met with a bribe. A bribe was offered to me by one Mr. Williams and a fair skinned man claiming to be head of customer service.

The bribe was simple. They wanted to buy my silence by offering to assist me get an availability that has been hanging since 29^th of April. As you can guess, I walked out on them, charging like a caged bull to talk to NTA but before I could turn down the bribe, NTA crew crept into their bus and zoomed off. I am pained. Pained because this is not journalism. In journalism as I understand from watching BBC, CNN and Aljazeera, you hear from both sides of the divide, to get your audience a balanced report. But NTA the parrot of government, refused to interview any CAC customer to ascertain if the claims by the RG(Registrar General) and his stooges are true. Right there at the customer service care desk sits a blank computer. Computer number 3 from the entrance, has a dysfunctional key board and this has been so since the end of last week.

To show that it is the top echelon of CAC that is compromising to make CAC a grave yard of dinosaurs, they guarded the visitors towards the back office and opposed them access to any customer at CAC. Shame unto you Mr. Churchill Williams. This is not how to protect the image of a corporation.

If it is true that CAC is underfunded, let the senators see the decay and your claim in the DailyTrust Newspaper can be justified and more money will be voted to give CAC a face lift. But this selected departmental visit, may have secured your job as a performing civil servant but your productivity is zero. Today’s attitude of lawyers and CAC big wigs, shows why CAC will never work and compete with other institutions in Nigeria’s match towards the illusionary 2020.

Mr. Williams claimed he is not aware of the ills bedevilling CAC. I took him up on the aborted interactive session with customers in Yar’Adua centre and why CAC chose to Lagos and tell the whole world that things are working. These lies have put pressure on CAC agents in Abuja. The CAC claimed that receipt of availability of a name can be gotten in 2 days. This is a white faced lie. I have a bank teller for a name I entered on the 29^th day of April and the name has not been approved. The harassment and innuendoes of how incompetent a lawyer I am, is better imagined.

Rather than proffer answers to these issues, Mr. Williams wanted to introduce me to the secretary of the commission. Boiling with rage, I told him, that I don’t bloody care if it’s God that is in-charge of CAC. All I want is to go to the availability desk and pick my approved or denied receipt and address my client adequately. In this era of e-everything and monies spent on employing Indian IT consultants, one doesn’t need to see any staff to get a job done. Once you key in the right words/account number, the machine ought to belch out the name you keyed in after all the e-world is garbage in garbage out. Constant contact with staff leads to corruption as it is a trite law that Nigerians are in a hurry and will rather ask who is number 1 on a queue rather than who is the last, so as to shunt.

A good side to today’s august visit is that it brought out the best in CAC staff. Not only were they so well dressed that I thought the RG was getting married today; they were cautious and treated customers like the king they are. I am impressed though sadly. So things can’t work except we want to do eye service? The speed with which memo/annual return filed this morning for verification came out, amazed me and revived my faith that things can work with the right kind of leadership and motivation. Some of the CAC big wigs came down from their Olympian heights. Even those who are hardly seen when customers are crying about delays in release of jobs properly filed.

My dear lawyer, who saw a golden chance to vent his anger but was overshadowed by the parachutes(agbada) these senators wore, I have this for you. You disgraced the profession. This profession as I understand it, is a weapon of warfare and every lawyer should have an iota of street lawyer in him. Heaven will never move until you push your case and draw down the hands of the gods to assist you. We missed the intervention of the god today but as my brothers from south-east will say, if the hare escapes today, tomorrow is another hunting day.  

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OBJ Carpets Hon. Elumelu

Ashimole Felix/Abuja. 

Ex-President Olusegun Obasanjo (OBJ) has replied the May 9^th 2008 Invitation to appear before the Hon. Ndudi Elumelu led Public Hearing on Power Sector.

Vintage OBJ pointed the structural flaws of the invitation but like a misunderstood statesman in an image reclaiming mission, OBJ took to lecturing the committee on Africa culture of respect for age and authority.

According to the text made available to journalists, OBJ denied awarding contracts to unregistered companies, stating that it is not the duty of the president to verify the corporate personality of a company bidding for contract and if such companies presented bank documentations and other Corporate Affairs Commission forms, than there must be a racket involved that need to be exposed and punished.

The former president also said that it will tend to portray inadequate knowledge or ignorance” for the committee to say that there is nothing at power project sites to justify the huge sums of money sunk into the power sector.

Obasanjo said that between 1999 and 2007, his administration spent about $6.5bn including letters of credit in the power sector.

He further urged the committee to hand over to EFCC and /or ICPC any minister or aide that served under his administration found to be corrupt but cautioned that the necessary documents must back up such.

 

 

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CAC - Conversation with the Deaf

Written By Che Oyinatumba.
Though I respect every person’s peculiarity, it is a trite wisdom that, it’s only a reluctant groom that asks for a direction to his in-laws’ house from a stammerer. Talking, complaining, shrieking about the progressive degeneration of services at CAC, gives me the feeling that we are having a conversation with the deaf.

Some of us, who are gifted by God with short fuse, have tried to keep off CAC jobs. But man must wak; hence i am doomed to come to CAC in between unwarranted adjournments by lazy litigation lawyers, to eke out a living. Each time I resurface at CAC, I come expectant like a pregnant woman and like a father of a stillborn, I go home disillusioned, feeling suicidal; asking, what is wrong with the black man?

The edifying edifice called CAC office at Zone 5 Wuse, is nothing but a dignified sepulchre, full of rotten services and habitual collapse. Despite the concession by CAC PRO Mr. Williams Churchill on Tuesday 4th March on page 23 of Dailytrust Newspaper, nothing has been done to upgrade these pre-colonial typewriters called computers in use at CAC. The computers at customers’ centre are still as dead as dodo, availability of reserved company name, comes out at a speed that will give a snail an Olympic 100meters medal; reprint of already reserved name, is a nightmare; dispatch of certificate requires a vocal diarrhoea of empty threats and unprintable abuses and at cordial times inducement to get some butts moving upstairs, where often times, a good number of staff are idling away, some even do their morning devotion during official hours!

On 26th February 2008, the scheduled interactive meeting between CAC and customers was aborted without CAC advancing any reason. To our rude shock, on Monday 17th March, CAC organised a meeting in Lagos to introduce CAConline services. Followers of entrenched fraud in CAC will testify that a similar product was introduced in Abuja last year and up till now, the closest we have to CAConline, is a green envelope given at dispatch desk. This meeting in Lagos is a calculated attempt by CAC administrators to plunge customers in Lagos and lawyers in Abuja into cold war. The impression given by CAC at the meeting is that lawyers in Abuja are responsible for the delay of jobs sent from Lagos! One wonders why the waste of resources to host a meeting in Lagos, when common company availability can’t be done in Lagos?

It is stating the obvious that there is a fishy fraud going on in CAC. In this era of regained courage in the House of Representatives, we look forward to a probe of the activities of the Ministry of Commerce and the where about of the revenues they generated from 1999 to date. Unlike the probe at the Power to Steal (Power and Steel sector), the recommended probe should be carried out by a panel made up of ordinary Nigerians and headed by a member of the House. This is so as Nigerians are expressing reasonable fear that the Hon. Elumelu led panel may not prove beyond reasonable doubt that Governors Imoke and Agagu were accomplices in the eclipse of Nigeria, or will they have the political will power to unveil the shadowy companies with questionable share capitals, that collaborated with Oyinbos to under develop Nigeria. There is no need to go to Mambila plateau, just visit CAC and see blacks conniving with blacks to under develop Nigeria. That CAC is not working as effective as it should, is beneficial to a cabal. After all, the elephantiasis of the scrotum that doesn’t allow the antelope to run, is a gain to the weary hunter.

Scratch a Nigerian, you see a religious fanatic. With fear of fatwah, let me say it’s ironic that as one son of Abraham is being born, another is courageously marching to Golgotha. Be that as it may, as Christians celebrate Easter herald by Jesus giving his disciples a pedicure after the Palm Sunday march, We pray that the comatose computers at CAC will resurrect to give good services; certificates come out as advertised by the CAC and erroneously reservation of names, cancelation of Incorporated Trustee, after publication, will be left in the grave.

The Moslems should see the birth of one of the leaders of Justice and equity, as an avenue to re-evaluate their services in CAC and ask; what can be done to make CAC grow into the envy of the world and a revenue alternative to the devil’s excretion from the South-South.

For the administrative deaf in CAC, let me remind you that Diamond Bank PLC, which withheld customers’ Acer laptop, are speedily reacting to save their corporate image. Last time I went to Lion Building Branch (after the article-Diamond Bank Acer Fraud); they were cordial and respectful and have delivered the said laptop. I salute their courage but they shouldn’t have waited for the handshake to go beyond the elbow before swinging to action.

CAC can work, if the retiring Registrar General listens and have the presence of mind to engage CAC customers in tête-à-tête. He is welcome to CAC parliament situate and lying under the mango tree in front of the filing room gate, where we air off frustration from the dilapidated services at CAC, and tell whatever under the sun as it as is and when the need be, we wear the basket to tell the king where and with which guard the queen was seen bra up, pants down.

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SUPER TUESDAY!

Written By: Che Oyinatumba.

Sorry, its not about Barrack Obama, who since after America’s Super Tuesday, has given all blackmen the faith to believe that dreams do come true and a man is judged by the content of his ideas, character and not the colour of his skin. Nigeria’s super Tuesday is on 26th 2008.

On Tuesday Febuary 26th, two great events will take place.One is a microcosim of the macrocosim. Whatever be the out come, it will affect me, if it doesn’t break my heart, it will scratch it and sure must leave an indelible scar.

Within my own little world, the Registrar General of Corporate Affairs Commission (CAC) has called for a meeting to address the hydra-headed problems confronting CAC. We salute the courage of the RG to dream up this idea. In as much as we have misgivenings about the venue, we encourage all lawyers to attend and bare their minds. Our mis-givings over the venue-Shehu Musa Yar’Adua Center, is hinged on the fact that about a year ago, the CAConline programme was midwifed at this centre and since this premature delivery, the online registration suffered the faith of African child-manultrution and death. Taking us to this centre gives one a feeling of dejavu.

The other event that will take place on Tuesday the 26th of Febuary, is the delivery of the Court Appeal sitting in an electoral capacity over the infamous Iwu doctored April 2007 General (s)Elections in Nigeria. A lot has been said about the outcome and the reaction of President Yar’Adua. While others opine that the president will not seek re-election based on fear of one way ticket to Germany to cure cold; he will not appeal the judgment, this writer is of the opinion that PDP will never allow him. After all the Supreme Court in Amaechi Vs PDP & Others ruled that it is the political party that contests election. So whether Yar’Adua refuses to contest the re-run, PDP will still hoist a candidate from the North-East, where the party has zoned the presidency.

The members of the Yar’Adua is doing well school of thought, believes that if a fresh election is organised, Yar’Adua will win free and fair.This argument is anchored on the fanatical zeal with which Yar’Adua’s administration is dismantling the ‘legacies’ of Obasanjo. According to the radical wing of this school of thought, the tribunal, will rule in favour of Yar’Adua and PDP.I differ with these argument.

Let me take on the radical die hard faithfuls. The lower tribunals have removed five(5) governors, unmarked Mark the Senate president, who are all product of the same election that vomitted Yar’Ardua on us. Doesn’t logic and common sense explain that a paper used to wrap salt, is salty? Weren’t some of the elections discredited by the tribunals done on the same day with Yar’Adua’s? Did INEC change staff to conduct presidential election? Did places where PDP was indicted of rigging, only rigged for the Senator and not the presidential election?

The wise men at the tribunal, should borrow a leaf from their brothers at the lower tribunals, continue to reinforce the new found faith of Nigerians in the judicial system and …(its prejudice to rule for the court). Their fearless ruling will have a ripple effect on other states, whose tribunal is yet to rule.

Yar’Adua’s winning of a bye election(?), is as a result of dearth of viable opposition in Nigeria. In well over 6months into Aso Rock, Yar’Adua has not fulfilled any of his electoral promises. The energy sector has gone from epileptic to comatose. The joy of this administration is “reversalism”, running a relay race backward. I am not holding forth for OBJ, Fani-Kayode, Remi Oyo, Nweke Jr and diminitive El-Rufiai are still alive to defend what their administration did while in government.

For non-developing nation like Nigeria, continuity of governmental policies is the express way out of the woods. These policies may not have been the best, but it behoves on the masses, to prompt their representatives, to repeal this or that. But with the excutive fiat Yar’Adua is turning the apple cart,one can not but smell rat that this administration is waging an economic terrorist attack on a sector of the rich class without the interest of the masses at the base of the ladder. What becomes of the shares of impoverished Nigerians in these companies the government has rolled over? Should Yar’Adua win a re-election, rejoice not O Nigerian, for then will your sorrows multiply.In the sense that the real Musa will emerge without fear of election petition, or the hairy hands from Ota Zoo.

Should Yar’Adua lose, the opposition should make the removal of Iwu as a sina quanon to participating in any bye-election. All the resident commissioners who pertook in the conduct of the ignoble election, should be reliefed of their job.

As a matter of National urgency, they should not take part in Kogi, which is the litmus test.

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