Celtel: what’s not in a name
August 5, 2008 by 
Che Oyimnatumba · Leave a Comment
.“The fault dear Brutus is not in our stars, but in ourselves…” Julius Caesar
Any keen follower of the telecom sector in Nigeria sure would have lost count how many names preceded Celtel.
Seven years ago, when GSM zoomed into Nigeria, Econet was the second service provider to migrate from South Africa into virgin Nigeria air space. Not being able to provide quality service or march the continuous painting of the cities of Nigeria Yellow, the name was changed to Vodafone. As this was unfolded, the lack of research and in-depth understanding of commercial law practice in Nigeria, the name was speedily changed to Vmobile to beat passoff.
Since the rot is internal, like the odour that oozes out of a skunk, Vmobile could not turn around the mentality of the management of Econet who survived into Vmobile and a new name came on board, Celtel was born. Still the epileptic services continued.
On Monday August 4th, as part of the activities to mark 7 years of GSM operation in Nigeria, Nigerians woke up to the shock of a wrap around on major national dailies, heralding the birth of Zain. A closer reading, revealed that Celtel has changed its name to Zain. According to the CEO of Zain, Mr. Chris Gabriel, the rebranding of Celtel, will reposition Zain to offer innovative products and services and that they are confident that their customers across Africa will embrace the vibrant and colourful Zain identity.
One cannot but ask where Mr. Gabriel is coming from? What Nigerians want to embrace, is quality service and not colour; Nigerians want a complete call; a timely delivery of SMS and constant networking during a rain storm and above all, Nigerians don’t want network congestion during festival periods.
If any GSM service provider can provide these, there will be no need to rebrand. Good quality like hot popcorn needs no advert!
| 3.2 |
7 years of GSM Culture of Lies
July 26, 2008 by Che Oyimnatumba · Leave a Comment
When did you say any of these below? If you haven’t since the seven years of epileptic services by the GSM providers, the gates of heaven will be open at the mention of your obituary.
I am as guilty as a chocolate bar in the colony of ants. But I am trying to repent; where I cannot, may the LORD bless my soul and take me to the place in the hereafter he thinks is best for me; after all, I didn’t ask to be created. And if I am made for hell, sneaking into heaven will make me most uncomfortable. Don’t get too religious and more Catholic than the Pope, What offence did Esau not commit? As a squeamish foetus in the womb, God chose Jacob the swindler ahead of his elder brother. Pharaoh’s heart was hardened by God of Israel so that he can show his power via the plagues. Now you get my drift why I am not bothered about where I am going once I expire, so long as I have loved my neighbour, fought office holders to provide amenities to their constituencies and make my environment a little better than I met it.
Forgive me for the digression. It happens when I think of noise people about the hereafter.
Back to the GSM lies.
When GSM came into Nigeria, Nigerians domesticated its use and subsequently abused it. The poor services by all the Network providers, aid in the creation of a culture of lies among Nigerians.
Code name Global Street Madness, many Nigerians in a bid to show off; answer phone calls on the high way and where transported to the hereafter. Another group of GSM users, answer their calls in the most annoying fashion. In other to appear important to those around, the receiver repeats the caller’s questions. Are you saying the many has paid in the 20million? Tell him its 21 million or I will not do the job Mike tell Clara that am too much for that kind of joke, that she saw Aisha with my D&G handkerchief doesn’t mean we are dating (I hope those in this category have read Shakespeare’s Othello and see how uncommon a handkerchief is not) Oh why is this guy disturbing me na by force?
These two users above don’t bug me, as I know they are merely showing off. How can a man doing sakara over 20 million business be riding a rickety bus from Wuse market to Kubwa? Or Molue bus from Oshodi to Mile 2. If you want to jilt Clara, or give Aisha a gold plated tankwali, why announce it to the whole world in the name of receiving a GSM call? Why won’t the guy disturb you, after all you gave him your phone number? This group of show off is often to allow those around hear the cell phone’s ringing tone, see the make of the phone and ponder at the recipient’s deluded self worth.
All the holy books I have peeped into condemn lying. The GSM revolution has given religious a leeway to lie without accepting it’s a lie. How many times have you said I’m almost there when you are tens of kilometres away? Or deliberately shout I can’t hear you, the line is breaking, when you are hearing your debtor’s demand for refund? Or Mum, I am in school while you are in the arms of non biological uncle old enough to be your grandfather? Or switch off your call because you are in areas where you cannot account for? Call me back, I’m in a meeting, when you are loafing about.
The one I find most interesting and ingenious is picking up a person’s call and cutting it off after 10 seconds as though it’s a drop call by the service provider. Second to this, is to place the cell phone near a second hand generator and say, the plane is about to take off, I cannot hear you, I will call you once we are airborne. Need I to remind you that after hours, jet lag for a flight you never took will not allow you to call?
Apart from these caller receiver lies, another interesting lying department of GSM usage, is in the storing of contacts in the phone. The advanced ones, store names in plainly and tell you, if I have something to do with her, would I have stored her name like that? Watch it, its advance lying mechanism. It puts you the accuser on the defensive, for you want to give your guy a little credit that his skull is not stuffed with cotton wool.
The beginners in the trade, store their “sinning” partners names as an opposing sex’s name and prefix it with numbers, giving the impression that it is alternative number of the accomplice, meanwhile it is to differentiate Michael from Michel differentiate. So watch those numbers, “Uncle” and Un-cle are not the same person.
| 3.2 |
Nigeria Government Reverses Self on NITEL/MTEL
March 4, 2008 by OCI · Leave a Comment
This may be good news to all the poor investors that invested in the Transcorp dream, or is it too early to celebrate, time will tell; for now, its another ‘reverse’ reversal.
Federal Government yesterday restored the 51 per cent equity share holding of the Transnational Corporation (Transcorp) in Nigerian Telecommunications Limited (NITEL) and Mobile Telecommunications (MTEL)
….. reports Champion
Independent nails it with….
Govt Makes Another U-turn On NITEL/Mtel
Transcorp will continue to own 51 per cent of Nigeria Telecommunications Limited (NITEL) and its subsidiary, Mobile Telecommunications (Mtel).
The group will also continue to manage the telecom firms until a new core investor shows up.
| 1.5 |
One Week, One Reversal
February 18, 2008 by OCI · Leave a Comment
In case you missed it, below were the headlines in the past week and the week under review:
Headlines:
FG Reverses Sale of Nitel …. Thisday
The Federal Government yesterday reversed the sale of the Nigerian Telecommunications Limited (NITEL) to Transnational Corporation (Transcorp) Plc.
It also ordered the probe of the management contract entered into by the company and Pentascope International, the firm hired to manage the telecommunication company for three years. The contract had been revoked less than one year after it became operable following alleged irrigularities …….
Transcorp laments reversal of NITEL sale … Vanguard
- CORE investors in the Nigerian Telecommunications and Mtel, Transnational Corporation (Transcorp), regretted, yesterday, Saturday’s revocation, by the Federal Government, of its buying of NITEL/Mtel. …..
NITEL - Transcorp May Sue FG ….. Thisday
Following the Federal Government’s reversal of the sale of the Nigerian Telecommunications Limited (NITEL) to Transnational Corporation (Transcorp) Plc, Transcorp may initiate legal action against the government over the reversal.
Transcorp said yesterday in a statement that since the Federal Government placed premium on due process and rule of law, it too intended to follow that path. The organisation’s statement was signed by its Vice-President, Communications, Mr. Adedayo Ojo. The Minister of Information and Communication, Mr. John Odey, had on Friday, announced the reversal of the sale of NITEL to Transcorp.
But Transcorp said yesterday: “It is pleasing to note that the present Federal Government prides itself significantly in upholding due process and the rule of law both of which Transcorp Plc also intends to follow in this instance.”….
One is really wondering when these reversals will end so that the present government can start initiating and implementing its own policies and programmes.
Since there is apparent disregard for the ‘rule of law’ and ‘due process’ which the government purports to follow; we the people of Nigeria will want to beg president Yar’Adua to ask Professor Iwu to reverse the April 2007 presidential election that brought him into power on one ground; because it has Esau’s (Olusegun Obasanjo) hand all over it.
We urge you to grant this request in the spirit of the on-going reversal spree. We do not mind if the ’rule of law’ or ‘due process’ is followed just this once; afterall, in the other reversed cases it was not.
| 1.5 |
3G Debut in Nigeria - (New Wine-Old Wine Skin)
February 18, 2008 by OCI · Leave a Comment
Penultimate week, the Telecommunication companies in Nigeria were taking turns to announce the launch into the ailing telecomm marketplace their new wine but are failing to double check whether their wine skin will be able to go the distance.
The duo of Efem Nkanga and James Emejo of Thisday captures it with this poser:
- Will the launch of 3G by operators in Nigeria resolve the poor quality of service issues Nigerians have been grappling with in recent times?
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A lot of people don’t seem to think so. This is because the application of 3G in Nigeria despite its benefits, has its own challenges that include the need to expand the national backbone to accommodate the higher traffic volumes that the uptake of the technology will engineer, while the present GSM 2.0G/2.5G will need to be technologically upgraded for higher efficiency.
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Aside this is the fact that subscribers will have to get new compatible 3G handsets that most Nigerians might not be able to afford.
In fact the uptake of 3G globally has not caught on as it should because of some of these challenges.
As long as the present operating environment of poor quality service and apparaent lack of customer service persists; this new wine will either taste sour or it will fail to be the toast of the market on arrival.
Until something is done about their operations as it obtains now, 3G will not fly.
| 1.5 |
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